I remember my grandmother, who experienced some form of dementia. One thing our family often recalls is how frequently she would say, “I want to go home.”
Years later, when I worked in a long-term care facility, I heard the same words from many residents living with dementia: “I want to go home.”
It is a familiar statement for many families and caregivers. Our natural response is often, “But you are home,” or “This is your home now. We are here with you.”
But what does a person with dementia really mean when they say, “I want to go home”?
Home May Mean More Than a Place
Sometimes, “home” is more than a physical location. It may represent something much deeper: safety, familiarity, comfort, family, or belonging.
Research examining the meaning of home for people living with dementia has found that memories of earlier homes can remain particularly meaningful and that family plays an important role in a person’s experience of home. ¹ Other scholarship on dementia care has similarly described “home” as connected with familiarity and security rather than simply a particular building. ²
The Alzheimer’s Society explains that when a person with dementia asks to go home, the person may be seeking the feeling of home rather than a particular physical place. “Home” may represent a time or place where the person felt comfortable, secure, relaxed, and happy. ³
This helps us understand why someone may say, “I want to go home,” even while sitting in the house where they have lived for many years.
Listen to the Feeling Behind the Words
Because dementia affects memory and orientation, directly correcting the person may not always be helpful. Saying, “But you are already home!” may make perfect sense to us, but it may not address what the person is experiencing at that moment.
Instead, we can listen for the need behind the words.
“I want to go home” might sometimes mean:
“I’m frightened.”
“I don’t recognize this place.”
“I want to feel safe.”
“I miss someone.”
“I want something familiar.”
The Alzheimer’s Society recommends acknowledging these feelings rather than arguing about whether the person is already home. Reassuring the person that he or she is safe and cared for may be more helpful.³
We might gently say, “You’re safe. I’m here with you.” Or we could ask, “Tell me about your home. What do you like about it?”
The Importance of Presence
Our nonverbal communication matters too. Research on communication in dementia care supports strategies such as using simple language, allowing time to respond, maintaining appropriate eye contact, and using touch and other nonverbal cues when appropriate.⁴ A more recent systematic review also emphasizes the importance of combining verbal and nonverbal communication with an understanding of the individual person and his or her circumstances.⁵
Sometimes looking through old photographs, listening to familiar music, taking a walk, or simply sitting quietly together can provide reassurance. Familiar memories and objects may help create a greater sense of comfort and belonging.² ³
So perhaps when someone with dementia says, “I want to go home,” our first question should not always be, “How do I convince them that they are already home?”
Instead, we might ask:
“What is this person trying to tell me right now?”
Perhaps behind those four simple words are some very human questions:
“Am I safe?”
“Am I loved?”
“Will someone stay with me?”
And sometimes the most meaningful answer is not an explanation at all. It is our presence:
“Yes, you are safe. I am here with you. You are not alone.”
Notes
- Wenjin Wang and Hao Huang, “Home Triad: A New Way to Understand the Meaning of Home for People Living with Dementia,” Innovation in Aging 7, suppl. 1 (2023): 1056, https://doi.org/10.1093/geroni/igad104.3393.
- H. J. M. van Hoof et al., “Dwelling, House and Home: Towards a Home-Led Perspective on Dementia Care,” Health Care Analysis 19 (2011), https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3127020/.
- Alzheimer’s Society, “‘I Want to Go Home’—What to Say to Someone with Dementia in Care,” updated January 7, 2025, https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/blog/i-want-go-home-what-to-say-to-someone-in-dementia-care.
- Mary Egan et al., “Methods to Enhance Verbal Communication between Individuals with Alzheimer’s Disease and Their Formal and Informal Caregivers: A Systematic Review,” International Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease 2010 (2010): 906818, https://doi.org/10.4061/2010/906818.
- Astrid Maria Sunjaya et al., “Communication Strategies for Delivering Personalised Dementia Care and Support: A Mixed-Methods Systematic Review and Narrative Synthesis,” 2025, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12078768/.